Just Frigg'in let it go already!!! Finding closure in the weirdest places....

The Death of a Tree

This is a 750 year old Bermis tree. It stands in the Crowsnest Pass in Southern Alberta. It is considered the "most photographed tree in all of Canada" It is true that it has endured the most incredible gale force winds & wind chills of epic proportions, and yes it deserves to be respected and admired - I get that.

This tree stands right next to the highway, easy access for the point and shooters to barely get out of their vehicle to sharp shoot it with arms outstretched clutching their digital technical wonders like zombie walkers - or as we pro's call it - "The Hail Mary Shot". I've never understood why. Yes, when it is photographed by a professional it looks smashing!! But what exactly are the snap shot sharp shooters getting out of it I ask. The history of it? Do they even know that- really? Standing at the edge of the car for the 1.2 mins it took to get the shot and then piling back into the warmth of the vehicle and speeding away with out a second thought?

The only reason it is soo photographed is because the locals have propped it back up from its earned original resting spot. This tree has fallen many many times over the decades. And still they get out the machinery and stand it up and nail the F*CK out of the base of it with huge sheet metal braces. -NOT a pretty sight from the back side!!! Why do they still feel the overwhelming desperate need to hang on and not let it rest in peace? I've never understood why - just frigg'in let it go already!!!

I've just recently had my own personal experience of learning to "just frigg'in let'in it go already". It seems I've been carrying around the weight of a 750 year old Burmis tree on my back for 29 years.

-Two days ago, I learned the real medical reason for my mothers death - and to my incredibly overwhelming relief....it wasn't my fault- it truly was natural causes, I only contributed at a much, much lower level.

I've been living in a very private hell with the guilt and with not ever knowing if I would ever find out for sure. I've never told a sole, I was prepared to go to my grave with it. It was a very long agonizing wait. In my mind, it was very much like being that damned tree that has fallen many many times over the decades, and still I get out the mental machinery and stand it up and nail the F*CK out of the base of it with huge sheet metal braces and still I just would not let it die. NOT a pretty sight from the dark side!!!

Why did I still feel the overwhelming desperate need to hang on and not let it rest in peace? - I've never understood why - all I can say is- it sure feels good to FINALLY just frigg'in let it go already!!! Well..at least I'm going to start trying!!! We'll just call it my "Hail Mary Shot" and leave it at that for now!!!! ;)