Always Look on the Bright Side of Life Sing-Along

Five months of bleeding vaginally
7 weeks of diarrhea/constipation
Blood @ every bowel movement
Extreme abdominal & pelvic pain
Internal and external hemorrhoids
Severe kidney infection
Fatigue
High Anxiety

Then the real games begin.......

After finding out via my mothers coroners report on Sept 8th, that I am at very high risk of ovarian cancer and colon cancer, I've consulted seven doctors, experienced two ER visits and endured six very long days in a hospital.

This is the not so "long story short" of it all:

-Two Blood tests, 8 viles
-Pap test, 3 cultures
-Pelvic exam (with considerable tenderness)
-Rectal exam (excruciating)
-Prescribed two antibiotics, sleep aides, and progesterone treatments and mild Adavan for stress
-Ultrasound prep, 24 hours
-Ultrasound (with considerable tenderness)
-Vaginal Sonogram
-Two more blood tests, 6 viles
-Extreme diarrhea
-Prescription for stronger Adavan is increased but nothing for pain relief
-Suppository treatments lasting two weeks
-15 pound weight loss
-Another painful pelvic/abdominal exam, recommends rush Colonoscopy, prep begins immediately
-Colonoscopy prep = three days of non-stop diarrhea and fasting
-Colonoscopy = Two attempts at IV for saline drip, two attempts at IV for sedation - unsuccessful, minimal pain relievers. Excruciating screaming pain during procedure had to stop and re-attempt.
-IV for saline goes interstitial = fluid the size of a soft ball (half a litre) hanging in my skin from my elbow.
-IV relocated unsuccessfully, leads to severe bruising and pain lasting 12 days and counting.
-Proctologist recommends Laproscopy and recommends same day procedure. Two and a half hour wait, procedure postponed 48 hours. Recommends being admitted to Emerg at Rockyview 48 hours later for more tests and procedures.
-9 hours in Er at Rockyview, two attempts at IV for more saline, given Perkaset pain relief.
-One blood test, 3 viles
-Admitted to 8th floor Rockyview Hospital in considerable pain, more perkaset. (Going on 7 days with minimal food due to prep for procedures) known medically as "NPO" status.

Then the real stamina games begin....

After a long & painful nine hour wait in the hectic and at times chaotic emergency ward, I was finally admitted to the 8th floor. I was wheeled into my room at sunset and was treated to the most incredible view a hospital room could ever have. The bed was next to a huge room sized window over looking the unobstructed Glenmore reservoir, golf course, foothills and a clear outline of the Rockies and big blue red/orange sky sunset. If it were not for the view from that bed, I would have been admitted to the psych ward on the ground floor just below me and would still be there today!

Still being NPO, I was not allowed to eat or drink for another two days. I was bruised and still very sore from all the treatments/procedures and unsuccessful attempts at my veins. I was very weak and still hooked up to an IV machine, plugged into the wall. They then decided to take me off the IV and try to feed me while I waited for my test results.

I started to have a negative reaction from the Perkaset and began vomiting the first morning. My roommate, a tiny 90 something year old woman, was being attended to every hour for vitals and had to physically be taken to the bathroom. On this, my first morning and her second, she was in pretty bad shape. She had fallen down a staircase, dislocated her hip and broken her leg. She looked horrible, like someone had beaten her up, black and blue swollen face and all. She too was having a bad reaction to her painkillers and had a severe case of the runs - unable to make it to the bathroom - at three in the am, she was tended to by six people for a major clean up. The stench - it was all I could take. I vomited into these cardboard french-fry take-out looking containers for about five hours almost non stop.

Then my addiction to intravenous mega dose Gravol began!!! It was wonderful, I begged for more. It has a way of "knocking you into next Tuesday" as my nurse Caleb once said. It worked better than the perkaset on the pain too. They offered me morphine but the thought of going thru another reaction of vomiting haunted me so I figured I've got my Gravol and I can probably tough it out on some Ibuprofen. I was taken off the IV for one day and then had to prep for a CT scan.

Another needle, for yet another IV - hurt like FUCK. At this point my veins were not only next to empty but there was no place to go for the needle because they'd tapped every available option. CT scan showed a cyst in the uterus, but not the cause of the bleeding. As a precaution they decide to proceed with a D&C in hopes it will stop the perpetual menstruation. Also to rid the uterus of the cyst because of my high risk of cancer and high anxiety, it could become positive over time.

I called my hubby and we went awol for two hours, illegally leaving the hospital for a shower and to get in touch with clients via email and to call dad. I had no contact in the hospital at this point - no wireless, no in room phone, no tv.

Going back into the hospital was hell. At this point all I'm diagnosed with is severe IBS, dehydration and was malnourished from all the fasting for procedures and 6 weeks of diarrhea. Not to mention that I was still suffering the effects of almost five months of the worst menstrual cycle ever and had just gotten over a very bad kidney infection. I was begging to have a consult with psych for a prescription for an antidepressant/sedative in order to ease the pain from the IBS - (irritable bowel syndrome). There is very little research and very little treatment for IBS. I have to live with it, and control it with lowering my stress levels and treating my depression. I was devastated - the word "incurable" was HUGE.

Arriving back into that ward and into my room will probably rank as one of the most difficult things I've had to do. Face the music and tap another vein.

That particular ward is considered more intense than others. It is where they keep all the severe cases, the cases with the highest needs. Mostly orthopedic - no one can move with out help, everyone had to ring the nurses bell for EVERY move. My room was one door away from the nurses station - the noisiest most intense place on the floor, you could hear EVERYTHING even with ear plugs shoved in deep.

It was non stop 24 hours of ringing bells, ringing phones and very loud commotion/communication and lights. Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong it NEVER stopped ringing. I will never be able set foot into a place like McDonalds where they have the french fryer ringers. Car alarms, ambulances or anything that rings non stop will forever haunt me. That and the screamers, three different men were screaming in pain at any given time. The third screamer, directly across the hall from my room went code red. THE only three mins that the ward went dead silent. It was haunting.

They announced over the main intercom that they were at capacity three times during my six day stay. It even made the news that Calgary was in the danger zone. The helicopters stopped flying over my window onto the roof. The nurses arrived at bedside winded.

They came to get me for my D&C at midnight. I was as nervous as a cat. They put me on a stretcher and took me down into the bowels of the building. This particular hospital is very old and desperately needs a makeover, not just cosmetically. It has a very institutional feel to it and very dark. All things are heavy metal, paint chipped and at least 60 years neglected - especially in the operating dungeon. It was cold hard dingy cement. It had a horrid feel to it. After talking to the surgeon and anesthesiologist I still can not wrap my head around how someone can go thru soo many years of education and long hours to end up working in such a horrible looking dungeon.

They could not find a tappable vein to conduct the D&C. It was horrible. They ended up finding one only big enough to administer a sedative so they could try twice more. It has been a week since and my arms are still suffering the consequences. The D&C finally stopped the perpetual bleeding and pain - the best thing to happen to me in months.

On monday morning, one week after the hellish colonoscopy, and my last full day in the hospital, I had consults and meetings with all docs including my long awaited psych appointment. There I was basically begging for help, pouring 30 some odd years of anguish out in less than 30 mins, right in the middle of my roommates family visit with curtain drawn and the code red happening across the hall. All hell was breaking loose and I lost it. Nervous breakdown. I was given a prescription for an antidepressant and sent home still suffering from the severe IBS. Bruised, sore, very very weak and highly over sensitized but survived.

The cost of knowing that I'm absolutely cancer free - priceless.

Looking forward to my 54th bday party :)

- My ONLY regret - not having my camera with me.

Hit this link and enjoy!!!